July, 2006

Monday, July 31st.   We would very much appreciate it if you would pray for Christie's stomach.  She has experienced her first real nausea and stomach problems from the Taxol these past four days.  She is so grateful that she has not had worse symptoms over the recent eight weeks that she is taking this new phase with great calm.  I, however, as the one who gets to watch her hurt, am not.  When I can perceive she is hurting, I screw up my face and wince and get anxious.  She hurts and she tells me, "it's okay, honey, I have not been very sick with this treatment yet."  I start groaning and have sympathetic stomach discomfort.  She smiles and bears it gracefully.  I fret and express my discontent.  And, today, she was actually encouraging me, as though I were the one who was fighting the cancer!  I hope you can see from her attitude that God is manifesting His patience and contentment in her heart and that He is answering your prayers for her.  Thanks.

Meanwhile, we are counting down the weeks until Taxol is over.  There are just four left.  And, here is an assortment of pictures from the last couple of weeks.

The picture on the left is an actual photo of Jacquie, one of the amazing nurses on the infusion floor.  If I told you just a few of the ways that she and her fellow nurses care for Christie and their other patients, you would think I was exaggerating.  Though they pierce their patients with great long needles the size of Greek javelins, they are so thoughtful and gentle that our Friday pilgrimages to chemotherapy are actually, in many ways, pleasant and encouraging.  Here she is futilely trying to wake Isabella for her lunch. 

To the right is a picture of the Ballard Locks I wrote of in the last installment.  This is actually an advertisement for one of the nicest (and most romantic according to Mrs. Turnbull) places  for a picnic in Seattle.  On an evening like the one pictured, you  can see why it is morally imperative for you to visit the next time you are in the Big City.

Of course, the other two pictures are taken of you-know-who.  You can no doubt perceive that her victuals and her sleep are having the desired effect. 

Thursday, July 27th.    

¹³ For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. ¹⁵ He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. ¹⁶ For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. ¹⁷ He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. ¹⁸ He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything. ¹⁹ For it was the Father’s good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him, ²⁰ and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross; through Him, I say, whether things on earth or things in heaven.--Colossians 1:13-20

Reading through this passage feels like being a 16th-century Spanish explorer coming upon the Grand Canyon for the first time, or an astronomer peering into the first telescope and being overwhelmed by the sight of the sun.  This section of Scripture opens the window on such a stunningly clear view of the majesty and excellence of Jesus Christ.  Very briefly, from this passage, several truths are obvious.

1. Christ is the King of a kingdom. 

2.  He is the one who has provided for our redemption.  And redemption means that our sins can be, and have been, forgiven.

3.  He is the image of God, Himself. 

4.  He is the very firstborn of all creation.  That is, he occupies the role of the eldest son who stands, by right, to inherit that which belongs to the father.  In this case, the inheritance includes the universe as well as all else. 

5.  He is the Creator.  Everything that exists was made by Him, even those things that exist that cannot be seen with the eyes.  All things, thus, belong to Him just as every invention, by right, exists as the property of the inventor. 

6. Everything that has been made is made for Him.  The purpose and end for every created thing is Christ, Himself. 

7.  Everything that exists is held continuously together by Him.  Thus, all things continuously depend directly upon Him for their existence.

8.  He occupies the position of Head over the church.  Those who are believers in Christ, therefore, are part of Him and belong to Him. 

There is an entire trainload of clear truth about Christ and His nature and His exalted position in this passage.  What a privilege to claim allegiance to Him!  What an honor to be rescued by such a Saviour!

We have had, in many ways, a wonderfully normal week.  Last night Christie and I got to play music with our friends Don and Kristin Wood at the Icicle Ridge Winery for a dinner there.  Our quartet had not played since before Christie's surgery and it was a satisfying thing to have Chris feeling well enough to do that.  It was another foray into normal living that reminded me again how much better Christie is feeling these days. 

I should clarify that my wife is not feeling great.  But she is feeling so much better that it has the look and feel of feeling great.  Her Taxol side-effects are there, but they are not anything like what they could be and for that (and much else) we give thanks to the Lord.  He is merciful. 

On Sunday we were driving through a different part of town after church and we happened upon two rather junky looking houses next to each other on one of the side streets in Leavenworth.  Our nine-year-old saw them and considered for a moment.  Then she said--in all seriousness--"Dad, look at those run-down houses.  I think they must be lived in by bachelors or something"  I responded that she might be right.  Little did I know how notorious bachelors could be for being messy, unkempt people who are a threat to any decent neighborhood!  I am not sure that she realizes that her own father used to be an actual bachelor.  The poor girl.  When she finds out, it will, no doubt, make her ask lots of big philosophical questions .

That nine-year-old had her birthday party a little over a week ago.  She also got to spend five days in Seattle with her Aunt Cathy.  You can see from the picture that she was utterly happy with the gift we had given her.  She has been asking for a pocketwatch and we found one for her in Wenatchee.

You can see also that Isabella continues her tradition of sleeping through significant family gatherings.  I almost wonder if this slumbering is actually an act.  Perhaps she is feigning sleep on the outside, while she is internally engaged in acute data-gathering, listening in on all of our conversations.  Maybe she is an industrial spy and is sending reports to her agency's headquarters in Geneva.  Or maybe she is just a beautiful baby girl who continues to relish her naps. 

Thank you many times over for continuing to pray for us.  When we were on our way over the pass to Christie's MRI last week we came upon a terrible car wreck at the top of Blewett Pass.  Three young girls were injured quite badly.  Both Lindsay and Laura are out of the hospital and at home, but Mora continues to be in serious condition in the hospital.  Please join us in praying for them and their families.  Already God has been allowing us to see the work He is doing in the midst of a tragic event. 

Thursday, July 2oth.  An inexplicable thing is happening.  Christie's hematocrit (a crucial part of her blood count which measures what percentage of her blood is red cells) is rising.  It would make sense if it were gradually falling.   Red cells are often casualties in the war on cancer. And Christie's hematocrit fell steadily and significantly for the first three weeks of Taxol.  But since then it has made a slow U-turn and is on the rise.  I don't get it.  She has continued to have Taxol week after week.  It should be lower than ever. Rather than trying to understand it all, we give thanks to God for helping Chris in this very essential way.  Thank you for praying.

On Tuesday we drove over the mountains to Seattle in order to go to First Hill Diagnostic Services for Christie finally to have an MRI on her other breast.  We have wondered all along if there was cancer there, too, but have not been able to determine that since she was pregnant and could not then undergo the test.  Now that Isabella is very substantially ex utero, the time had come.  You must know that my wife tends to be somewhat claustrophobic and thus she was not looking forward to spending half an hour in the middle of a gigantic, loud, metal tube.  She anticipated it as one would aniticipate a meeting with Stalin, as opposed to meeting Mr. Rogers for the first time.   As it turned out, every nurse and assistant and technician and doctor we met and were helped by  was considerate and professional.  And, her trip into the torpedo shaft did not hardly bother her.  That was clearly God's direct grace to Christie to allow her to possess such equanimity in those circumstances. 

The MRI showed three spots that were a matter of concern.  As a normal procedure, the doctors perform a very unique kind of ultrasound on any spots they discover in the MRI.  Dr. Porter and Dr. Navid and the ultrasound technician were all convinced--after thorough examination and consultation--that these spots were normal lymph nodes or other benign things.  This was a great relief since there were a few minutes then when we were wondering if we were indeed seeing more cancer.  They asked us to return in six months to recheck those spots to insure that there is no change in those areas.  We want to thank you for praying for Christie for this appointment.  Praise be to God for strengthening our family.

Christie's sister, the famous Aunt Cathy, has been at our house for several days over the last two weeks.  She stayed with her nieces and nephew while we went to Seattle and, because our kids were in good hands, we spent the night and enjoyed time together in the city. One of the best things we did was to drive to the Hiram Chittenden Locks for a picnic dinner.  We met a man as we were walking through the gardens who said he has come there every week (or maybe it was everyday) for the past thirty years.  He told us there were over 1500 varieties of plants at that park and I believe him.  It was a great time and my wife recommends it as one of the most romantic parks in the Northwest.

Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples. Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; Speak of all His wonders.  Glory in His holy name; Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad. Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face continually. Remember His wonders which He has done, His marvels and the judgments uttered by His mouth     --Psalm 105:1-5

Saturday, July 8th.  Christie found a unique surprise awaiting her on Thursday evening when she started to tackle the laundry.  Our three-year-old had placed every stack of clean laundry sitting on the stairs waiting to be delivered to the various dressers in the house, back into the belly of the washing machine.  So, when her mother opened the lid to put the dirty clothes in, there were all of the clean, folded clothes ready to be washed again!  Fortunately, at that girl's age, she has neither the knowledge nor the height to turn it on. 

Christie's treatment went very smoothly yesterday.  Her port should someday be featured in "Modern Portacath" magazine.  It always works these days, just as it was designed to.  Praise the Lord for that change from the old days. Additionally, my wife's blood levels looked fairly good on the lab report yesterday.  Her HCT count had actually climbed this week!  That is God's grace. 

Someone asked Christie this week how severe these Taxol side-effects felt in comparison to those she had when she was taking Adriamycin and pregnant.  Her one word response was, "vacation."  Now I could hardly call what my wife is currently experiencing a vacation in the classic sense of that term, which denotes things like restful leisure and some form of tranquility.  But, in relation to what she had endured, this season is so much more tolerable.  Part of that has to do, I believe, with the fact that my wife is growing into an even more patient and steadfast person than she already was. And part of it is a direct function of the truth that she is receiving weekly and therefore lower doses of this kind of chemo and also that it is just not as punishing as previous treatments.  The really enjoyable surprise is that Christie is not losing her hair as had been predicted.  And, since I had a haircut just a few weeks ago, we form a matching pair.  We look like one of those shallow couples that choose each other just because of their hair-do's. 

Our meeting with Dr. Carlson, the radiation oncologist, was very helpful last week.  He answered many of our burning questions about radiation and its effects and side-effects.  It  appears likely that Christie will  have radiation in September and October.  This means daily trips to Wenatchee for five weeks and more physical therapy.  While that adds yet another daunting therapeutic chapter to this saga, if it will significantly reduce the risk of recurring cancer, it is worth it.  Please pray for us as we do further research and thinking on this matter. 

Another matter I have been thinking about is God's gift of salvation to human beings.  I spent a sufficient number of years in the first portion of my life wandering in spiritual darkness--trying to run my own life under my own power toward my own objectives, and all the while becoming more and more powerless to direct my life--to realize that if anyone was going to have made themselves fit for God's choosing, it wasn't me.  On the surface I think I might have appeared to be a good fellow, but if anyone had an ounce of spiritual discernment they would have seen the seeds of my own slow-motion demise forming solid roots and burgeoning under that surface.  It doesn't take too much time living with oneself to realize that the Scriptures do not exaggerate when they say that, left to ourselves, we are "dead in our trespasses and sins . . . indulging in the desires of the flesh and of the mind . . . by nature children of wrath."  That section of Ephesians chapter two is a trenchantly accurate appraisal of our condition.  But many people in our culture balk at such descriptions of human nature.  They believe it is too grim. And they know for sure that terms like "dead" and "children of wrath,"  while fitting descriptions of certain neighbors they may not like, cannot apply to themselves personally. 

But it all has to do with the standard one uses to measure oneself.  For example, if I compare myself to Hitler whose grossly sinful expressions of evil are so monstrous as to make  mere murderers appear as petty criminals, I will see myself as a relatively decent guy.  I have not committed genocide. But if I fix my gaze on the Creator of the universe, who is described by the Scriptures as morally perfect, completely faithful, and wholly unaffiliated with any hint of evil, then I gain a new perspective on myself.  Suddenly I see that even the thought of hating someone or relatively "minor" transgressions such as being impatient with my spouse or indulging in a temper tantrum, while not grounds in our society for dismissal from the Decent Fellow Club,  are as out of place and  stark and jarring as graffiti on Michaelangelo's "David", or as a  reeking garbage can in the middle of Monet's  garden. To consider that we were made in God's image and that every sin we commit (though each act or thought may be run-of-the-mill living in a culture that is self-consciously distancing itself from Christian ethics) is an appalling defilement of that image is to see that our need for the mercy of God is absolute and critical.  To put it another way, to compare ourselves to ourselves, is to miss the point.  Whereas, if we look at God in His excellence, we can really only join Isaiah the prophet in saying "Woe is me, for I am ruined."   That is why the next section of Ephesians chapter two contains some of the most hopeful words in the Bible.  After it states in verse three that we "were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest," verse four gives people in certain peril certain hope: "But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)."  Note the descriptions of God in that verse: He is rich in mercy; He is greatly loving.  Note also that the subject of the sentence is God.  God is the center of this story.  He loved us.  He made us alive.  God saves human beings who are by nature spiritually dead and children of wrath.  He saves us not on the basis of deeds we have done that are righteous, but precisely and only because He is merciful and delights to show His mercy and love to people who would otherwise be eternally lost.  That is utterly amazing. 

Speaking of things that are not as they appear on the surface, our one-year-old allowed us to see that Santa Claus is not actually the jovial, genial, generous, kind old man we all took him to be.  In fact, as this undoctored photo shows, he is actually a marauding viking who is not afraid to spill blood.  I had always wondered where he got all of those presents to give to little girls and boys.  Now we know.  He pillaged them.  Thanks for helping shatter those cultural myths, son.

And here is a gratuitous picture of Isabella Turnbull just because she needs more publicity.